When it comes to sexual performance, most guys have a handful of techniques they turn to. But when things aren’t going the way they’re meant to, we’re often left scratching our heads and frantically searching Google for what to do. The problem with that? There’s a lot of bullshit out there. To get answers, we sat down with Charlie Gearside, founder of men’s telehealth platform Pilot, which has so far helped over 30,000 Aussie men improve their sex lives.
The two major struggles
When it comes to sex, men will usually point to two issues: not lasting longer enough (PE), or not being able to maintain an erection (ED).
The good news is that both of these conditions are treatable – but Gearside says a lot of guys often just need to figure out the reality of sexual performance. Turns out, some blokes have the wrong idea about what usually happens in bed.
“Something like finishing too early – we know from research that most guys who think they have an issue with this are actually comparing themselves to what they see in movies. The reality is that the average time to ‘last’ is closer to 5-10 minutes,” he said.
“When blokes hear that, it’s like putting a whole new perspective on how they’re performing. The truth is that a lot of men who think they have PE, or are really not performing like everyone else, just have lofty expectations.”
Then there’s not being able to keep an erection. Whether it’s known amongst your friends as “whiskey dick” or it’s something you keep to yourself, ED affects around one million men in Australia.
“The thing with ED is that it’s very treatable,” says Gearside. “We have prescription treatments that have been prescribed by doctors for decades now, and they do work.”
Talking to a doctor… without the awkwardness.
Often, the toughest thing about treating ED is getting guys to talk to a doctor. That awkward conversation is enough to turn off a fair amount of men, and then there’s the hassle of going to the pharmacy and picking it up. Pilot connects Aussie men with doctors online and delivers prescription medication to their door. In just under two years, the company has helped over 30,000 guys improve their sex lives.
How exactly do prescription medications work to help you last longer?
When you’re looking for medical treatment for sexual performance, there are a few options.
Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (or SSRIs) are sometimes prescribed off-label to help men delay ejaculation. They do this by blocking your serotonin receptors, which are responsible for mediating your excitement. When you use an SSRI you’re blocking that part of your body that is going to get you too excited and lead to an early finish.
This is the class of prescription medication that often gets mentioned in the movies. Little blue pills that help you get hard and stay harder for longer. They’re prescribed pretty regularly, and work by putting a stop to the function of your body that usually causes an erection to go down. When you get an erection, your penis is basically filling up with blood, and a PDE5 inhibitor is making it stay that way, for longer.
Can you train yourself to last longer without medication?
While it’s great that in 2020 we’re able to get prescription treatments online, some guys understandably want to see if they can try non-medical options.
And when it comes to lasting longer, that’s definitely possible. Through a combination of techniques, both mental and physical, men have been overcoming sexual performance issues for years.
But the main thing is persistence. Techniques like edging need to be practiced regularly for around a month before results start to roll in.
What’s Edging, exactly?
A lot of guys have heard of edging already but don’t know the best way to do it.
What you want to do is masturbate until you reach halfway to orgasm, and then bring yourself down back to one, before going again. Think of it like doing reps at the gym. More reps equals more training of your body to keep going instead of orgasming.
So, what can you do?
Lasting longer during sex is ultimately an issue of control and stimulation. Finishing up before you want to is never fun, and can be largely attributed to guys not having a great handle on where their “point of no return” is.
Identifying this “point of no return” is what most guys need to work on when trying to train themselves to last longer, and a good way to approach this is by thinking about your ability to “last longer” as a ladder: Zero being not aroused at all, and ten being orgasm.
Something like edgin can train you to realise when you’re at an eight on that ladder, so then you can bring yourself down before orgasm.
The best way to familiarise yourself with this ladder? Masturbate – but in the right way.
Turns out, a lot of guys train themselves to orgasm quicker during sex because when they masturbate, they’re working to get it done fast. That’s where something like edging can help.
If you’re looking to perform better during the sex, the main thing is that you take action and get it sorted.
Whether you’d prefer a medical or non-medical approach, solutions exist for sexual performance concerns. Struggling through it, or pretending like it will just go away by itself, isn’t worth the stress when so many great options are available.
The main thing is that you talk to your doctor about it, in person or using an online, text-based service like Pilot, and find a solution that works for you.