Bear Grylls – Man vs Goat Testicles

Burnt barbecue? Dodgy kebab? Wombat eyeball? TV survivalist Bear Grylls tells you how you can eat almost anything.

We’ve all enjoyed tuning in to to watch Bear Grylls, the star of Man Vs Wild, lob himself out of a chopper into some hostile wilderness, then stave off a painful death  by urinating on himself, leaping into quicksand, sleeping inside a dead sheep or gnawing on the wildlife. Hey, sounds just like our weekend in New Zealand last year!

The adventurer, Everest conqueror and very old Boy Scout tells MF what to eat next ime you fall out of a helicopter into a jungle, swamp or desert.

Grill it

“As a rule of thumb, the best way to make anything taste halfway decent is grilling. For example, scorpions change from pus-ridden, stinking things weeping goo, to something like barbecue prawns in seconds over a fire. A bit of barbecuing can mask any bad taste.”

Let hunger rule

“The most disgusting thing I’ve eaten is probably either raw goat’s testicles, which melted in my mouth, or maybe frozen yak eyeballs. It’s amazing what you can stomach when you’re hungry.”

Keep it simple

“If I’m restricted to the bare minimum of survival kit on a trip, I’ll take a knife and firesteel [a lightweight metal rod that produces sparks when struck] to make a fire – then the rest is easy.”

“Eating berries out of a bear turd was bad, but if the alternative is nothing, it’s easier.”

Focus on fullness

“Eating berries out of a huge steaming bear turd was bad, but if the alternative is nothing, it makes it easier. Focus on the energy your food can give you rather than the taste – survival is rarely pretty, but if you’re going to survive, you need to leave your prejudices behind and just chew twice and swallow.”

Add horseradish

“If I was going to a remote location and restricted to just one condiment, I’d take horseradish sauce. It’ll make anything palatable.”

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