There’s nothing hotter than quick, spontaneous sex—get in, get out, and both of you are sexually satisfied. Er, well, maybe.
Or maybe it’s just you who’s satisfied, and she’s a little pissed that you left her high and dry (though the focus shouldn’t be on orgasm for either of you—check out slide 4). Quickies are, well, quick—no time for a half-hour of foreplay—but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t both enjoy the moment. Use these expert tips to improve your speedy sex game.
1. Seize the moment
The perfect quickie is spontaneous, rushed, and filled with urgent desire, according to psychologist and relationship expert Tracy Thomas, Ph.D. Don’t wait for the perfect moment to present itself (it never will), make that moment happen. Embrace the messiness of the situation—maybe do it in a risky location, or keep your clothes (mostly) on —and she’ll be turned on simply from how much you have to have her right now.
2. Talk to her
Ten minutes doesn’t give you a lot of time for conventional foreplay, but that doesn’t mean you should skip it altogether. Lucky for you, talking can be pretty sexy foreplay—and we don’t necessarily mean dirty talk. “There’s nothing sexier for a woman—or a man, really—than feeling craved and deeply wanted,” Thomas says. “The quickest way to make her feel this way is to tell her how much you want her and how much she turns you on.”
3. Mix it up
Does a quickie still count if you don’t have full intercourse? Of course it does, says sex and relationship expert Jane Greer, author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness from Ruining Your Relationship. If she has an easier time orgasming from clitoral stimulation, use your fingers or your tongue to get her off, instead of focusing on traditional sex. “The idea is to have fun spontaneously, and keep the energy flowing,” Greer explains. “Any variation of sexual activity is good for a quickie!”
4. Don’t sweat the orgasm
If she gets off, awesome. But if she doesn’t, no worries (and the same goes for you), Greer says. “What makes a quickie satisfying is being able to take time away from life’s responsibilities to share a fun, sexy experience with your partner,” Greer explains. “It’s not really about orgasm for either party.” In fact, focusing too much on making sure she comes might make her feel pressured—and that pressure will ultimately make the experience less satisfying.